Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bored is the Word

Stupid introspection.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Yeah, no, you know I’m lying.

I’ve been very introspective lately, which I may have mentioned six or seven hundred times. It has to do with that Big Birthday and my Stalled Career and the fact that I can’t lose weight as easily as I used to. Not that that last one is particularly upsetting anymore. When you have a Big Birthday, your level of not-give-a-crapness goes up exponentially and you say, “Five extra pounds? Pssshhhhh! I have control-top hose, an awesome black skirt and really tall boots.” To paraphrase a line that was famous in the ‘70s: “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with optical illusions.”

But the Stalled Career…

Introspection. Introspection. Introspection.

Geesh, that was a lot to write. I’m going to have to find a shorter word meaning “introspection.”

OK, so, the shortest one in the online thesaurus was “egoism,” and I’m not sure I like that. There’s also “brooding,” which may be closer to accurate. Although, “whiny-pants”—which isn’t in the thesaurus—is probably more like it.

We went to Buellton, California for my birthday weekend and did a bunch of stuff and junk, including paying a visit to Ostrich Land, where an 8-foot tall male ostrich immediately fell in love with my husband.

I’m not kidding.

Here’s the proof.

Note: Be-Bop-a-Lula wasn’t playing at the time. I added it later. Apologies to the estate of Gene Vincent.

It was a fun trip and then we had to get back to reality and I had to focus on why my career has stalled, and I realized I pretty much have only myself to blame. Myself and my boredom.

Yeah, I’m bored. Surprised? Me, too. I have a lot of great things in my life, but a long attention span isn’t one of them. I’m totally bored with what I’m doing right now. Which is why I have a million—or more like three—incomplete projects that I keep avoiding.

My friend Sarene suggested I get back to writing button slogans and greeting card copy. I’m thinking she’s got something there. It requires a lot more brainpower than you might imagine, but that’s what makes it challenging.

I seriously need to get back to the funny.

Look what Sarene gave me for my birthday.

It’s a vintage necklace with a golden pencil. How’s that for damn good timing? I am now feeling much more inspired. And if I get all whiny-pants again, I can stab myself in the hand and tell me to knock it off.

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