Making Your Bed and Not Sleeping In It

There is almost nothing good about insomnia. For the most part, it sucks. I walk around like a zombie all day—which I know is quite trendy right now, but I’ve never been much for trends.

I am not sleeping because I am getting older. Without making it too descriptively icky, let’s just say it has to do with bodily changes that I am somewhat unwilling to accept, despite my recent foray into grandparenthood.

Here’s me, on any given day:

WHY? WHY? I FEEL SO YOUNG! I’M EVEN TOLD I LOOK YOUNG! WHY ARE ALL THESE OLD-PEOPLE THINGS HAPPENING TO ME?

Insert whine wherever you please. It’s all whiny.

The good news is that I understand why men forever leer at young women. It’s not extra pervy because they are old. In their heads, they are always young, hence, an 80-year-old has not forgotten what it’s like to be 20. He’s just forgotten that he should be more subtle about leering.

If that doesn’t make sense, it’s not my fault. It’s because I HAVEN’T BEEN SLEEPING, in case you didn’t read the first paragraph of this post.

Another good thing is that, the other night, when I went to bed, fully knowing I would only sleep for a couple of sporadic hours, I decided that whilst attempting to recapture semi-consciousness, I would try to figure out who the killer is in I MURDERED THE SPELLING BEE, the sequel to my novel I MURDERED THE PTA. I kind of thought I knew who he or she was when I started writing it, but the plot evolved as I wrote, so I had to change murderers midstream. Anyway, I did come up with the killer(s) and why he/she/they did it. Very happy with that. We’re shooting for a fall 2012 release of the second in this series of Daphne Lee-Lee Misadventures.

So, I guess insomnia can be productive, even though it makes you use words like “hence” and “whilst.”

Please come see my bleary eyes and me this Saturday, November 5 at the Ventura County Book & Author Fair. I'll be in booth 35. There are going to be lots of cool people there, including Catherine Ryan Hyde and Mickey Jones. I hope I get a chance to meet them. I’ll try not to use any 14^th century lingo whilst introducing meself.