End of Year Unsentimental Sentiments
Can I just say right here that Charlie Sheen is icky?
Not that it isn’t a thought shared by most people; it’s just that I don’t understand how he keeps getting broads. Are they dumb? Does he have some sort of magical powers? Is he that freakin’ irresistible? Bleah.
I am currently working on my annual predictions column for my newspaper. Next to my occasional pseudo-investigative journalism pieces, it’s my favorite type of column to write. The problem is trying to be original—and still funny—after nine years of faux prognostications.
The past few weeks, I have been trying to chase down sources for a bunch of assigned articles. Most of them seem nice and keep telling me they’ll get back to me (for weeks now), but they don’t understand that, as a freelancer, if I don’t get the articles written, I don’t get paid.
It is currently very windy in my town. Good thing I have gained a good fifteen pounds over the last year. Ass fat provides excellent ballast.
I received my love letter contest prize of the Montblanc fountain pen and it is simply gorgeous. Is it wrong for me to want to win another contest before the end of the year? It’s just so much fun to get swag in the mail.
Youngest daughter turned 18 yesterday. She is a great kid, but I am waiting for her first “I’m an adult, so I can…”
The young woman who works at the Starbucks in my supermarket told me she loves when I come in because she can’t wait to see what I’m wearing. Compliment?
My two new favorite sites: regretsy.com and lamebook.com. You should check them out.
Hope you all have a wonderful, happy and healthy New Year. And, for all you freelancers and self-employed businesspeople, may your paychecks be bigger, on time, and not made of rubber.
XOXO.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Blue-Haired Old Ladies
Happy Belated Hanukkah, Everyone!
In honor of this festive event, I dyed the bleached-out streaks in my hair “Cobalt Blue.” I sort of resemble my Great Grandma Rose, who, 40 years ago, used some gnarly carcinogenic tint known back then as “bluing.” Now all I need is the Yiddish accent.
I’m not happy with how it turned out. Blue’s not my favorite color anyway—even though it’s one of the few colors that looks good with my vampire complexion (sorry Twilight fans, I had it first)—and I’m going to put red over it today, to make it purple. Or some other color. Who knows? Fun With Chemicals!
I haven’t posted recently because I’ve been freakin’ busy, both personally and professionally.
So, let’s recap the last couple of weeks, shall we?
Had jury duty. It sucked. I wrote a column about it. You can see it by going to the Web site of the Ventura County Star. That’s just the general link; you’ll have to search my name for archived columns. I didn’t give you the direct link because I didn’t want to be tempted to read the comments. You know how I feel about comments.
Entered a ton of contests. Won one! Remember that Bright Star love letter competition? It was a tie-in to the new Jane Campion film. I was one of the first-prize winners. Got me a $475 fountain pen! My columns may not be any better-liked by the Star’s readers, but they sure will look fancier!
Enrolled my younger daughter in college. She finished high school early. She's a good kid, but the first three years at her former high school weren’t so fantastic for her. I didn't want her to participate in an independent study program for her senior year, which is what she wanted. I gave in. She got a 4.0 GPA in her three academic subjects. I usually don’t like admitting when other people are right, but, in this case, it’s a happy admission.
My article about vintage sweaters was accepted by a magazine. I called the editor to confirm that they’d gotten the article, and he told me they liked it and that I’d be getting a contract as soon as they figure out which issue the article is to appear.
I’m not saying anything about my elder daughter, but I’m hoping things stay as they are for the moment. I'll let you figure out what that means.
Potentially good things are happening with my work, which I can’t report on right now, but I'll share good news, if there is any, with you next month.
I hope you and yours have been having a wonderful, hassle-free holiday season. Watch out for idiots in shopping mall parking lots.
Love & Kisses,
Your Blue- (or maybe Purple-) Haired Old Lady
Happy Belated Hanukkah, Everyone!
In honor of this festive event, I dyed the bleached-out streaks in my hair “Cobalt Blue.” I sort of resemble my Great Grandma Rose, who, 40 years ago, used some gnarly carcinogenic tint known back then as “bluing.” Now all I need is the Yiddish accent.
I’m not happy with how it turned out. Blue’s not my favorite color anyway—even though it’s one of the few colors that looks good with my vampire complexion (sorry Twilight fans, I had it first)—and I’m going to put red over it today, to make it purple. Or some other color. Who knows? Fun With Chemicals!
I haven’t posted recently because I’ve been freakin’ busy, both personally and professionally.
So, let’s recap the last couple of weeks, shall we?
Had jury duty. It sucked. I wrote a column about it. You can see it by going to the Web site of the Ventura County Star. That’s just the general link; you’ll have to search my name for archived columns. I didn’t give you the direct link because I didn’t want to be tempted to read the comments. You know how I feel about comments.
Entered a ton of contests. Won one! Remember that Bright Star love letter competition? It was a tie-in to the new Jane Campion film. I was one of the first-prize winners. Got me a $475 fountain pen! My columns may not be any better-liked by the Star’s readers, but they sure will look fancier!
Enrolled my younger daughter in college. She finished high school early. She's a good kid, but the first three years at her former high school weren’t so fantastic for her. I didn't want her to participate in an independent study program for her senior year, which is what she wanted. I gave in. She got a 4.0 GPA in her three academic subjects. I usually don’t like admitting when other people are right, but, in this case, it’s a happy admission.
My article about vintage sweaters was accepted by a magazine. I called the editor to confirm that they’d gotten the article, and he told me they liked it and that I’d be getting a contract as soon as they figure out which issue the article is to appear.
I’m not saying anything about my elder daughter, but I’m hoping things stay as they are for the moment. I'll let you figure out what that means.
Potentially good things are happening with my work, which I can’t report on right now, but I'll share good news, if there is any, with you next month.
I hope you and yours have been having a wonderful, hassle-free holiday season. Watch out for idiots in shopping mall parking lots.
Love & Kisses,
Your Blue- (or maybe Purple-) Haired Old Lady
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Bright Star Love Letter Contest
Remember when I told you I was going to do something writing-related every day for a year?
Year’s almost up.
I’ve sent in queries, articles, button slogan ideas, novel synopses, TV show pitches and lots of other stuff. Plus, I entered a bunch of contests. So far, I’ve won a beer company logo hoodie, a leather cell phone case, a safety-slogan T-shirt and a “Highly Commended”—which wasn’t nearly as cool as the hoodie, partly because they spelled my name wrong in the e-mail commending me.
Now I find out that I’m a finalist in the Bright Star movie love letter contest.
This is my first attempt at serious poetry, so NO LAUGHING. If you want to vote for me or one of the other finalists, go to http://www.brightstar-movie.com/contest/ and register. My poem is under the name @wendydager in the “Little Tweet Nothings” category, which is for those who submitted entries via Twitter. The other category is for finalists who mailed in gorgeous, elaborate, hand-made love letters.
If I win the first prize of a diamond necklace, it’d be an awesome way to close out the year. Also, it’d save my husband from having to buy me something* for our upcoming 25th anniversary!
*For those of you who are already my friends on Facebook, you will have seen the post where I am pining for a new washing machine. Forget it. He fixed the old one.
Remember when I told you I was going to do something writing-related every day for a year?
Year’s almost up.
I’ve sent in queries, articles, button slogan ideas, novel synopses, TV show pitches and lots of other stuff. Plus, I entered a bunch of contests. So far, I’ve won a beer company logo hoodie, a leather cell phone case, a safety-slogan T-shirt and a “Highly Commended”—which wasn’t nearly as cool as the hoodie, partly because they spelled my name wrong in the e-mail commending me.
Now I find out that I’m a finalist in the Bright Star movie love letter contest.
This is my first attempt at serious poetry, so NO LAUGHING. If you want to vote for me or one of the other finalists, go to http://www.brightstar-movie.com/contest/ and register. My poem is under the name @wendydager in the “Little Tweet Nothings” category, which is for those who submitted entries via Twitter. The other category is for finalists who mailed in gorgeous, elaborate, hand-made love letters.
If I win the first prize of a diamond necklace, it’d be an awesome way to close out the year. Also, it’d save my husband from having to buy me something* for our upcoming 25th anniversary!
*For those of you who are already my friends on Facebook, you will have seen the post where I am pining for a new washing machine. Forget it. He fixed the old one.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Gushfest
I was so impressed by a guest column in my newspaper that I just now called the woman who wrote it. I gushed like an idiot on her voicemail, but I couldn’t help it. The article appeared in The Ventura County Star’s Sunday business section and it’s called “Clean up your online act before job hunting.” It was written by Cheryl Moore, executive director of the Workforce Investment Board of Ventura County, and, man, does she make some excellent points about how young people present themselves in social networking communities, and how it can affect their job searches.
I am sending this article to my eldest daughter. If you have a teen or young adult relative, you should send it, too.
This week has been pretty good so far. I finally did sell some of my ‘80s scrap jewelry to a gold dealer and now I have enough to take my husband on a mini-vacation for our 25th anniversary in January. It’s not just about the money. Getting rid of old jewelry—getting rid of old ANYTHING—is a cleansing experience.
In fact, today, a bunch of my old household items—including a silver chafing dish I got as a wedding gift—are going to a local charity. That is, minus the Pyrex bowl that fit in the chafing dish. I’m keeping it because Pyrex is always handy. Silver-plated crap just gets tarnished and sticky and takes up space. And the person who gave it to me two-and-half decades ago is probably
a. no longer my friend,
b. no longer my parents’ friend or
c. dead.
A huge thank you to Skin & Ink magazine for the fabulous layout of my photos and article, “The Meaning of Mizpah,” in its December issue. And an even huger thank you to them for paying me so well and so quickly.
Currently, I have another magazine looking at my article about vintage sweaters. I’ll let you know if anything comes of that.
I’m also a “potential finalist” or “potential alternate” in a poetry contest. Not sure what that means, but I’m all about potential.
Also this week, I sent off my opinion column, a real estate advertorial and a real estate agent profile. Now I’m working on a contest entry for “Why I Write,” sponsored by Editor Unleashed and Smashwords. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to successfully answer that question, but if you’re interested in entering, go to http://editorunleashed.com/2009/10/27/announcing-why-i-write-essay-contest/. Deadline is December 31.
I was so impressed by a guest column in my newspaper that I just now called the woman who wrote it. I gushed like an idiot on her voicemail, but I couldn’t help it. The article appeared in The Ventura County Star’s Sunday business section and it’s called “Clean up your online act before job hunting.” It was written by Cheryl Moore, executive director of the Workforce Investment Board of Ventura County, and, man, does she make some excellent points about how young people present themselves in social networking communities, and how it can affect their job searches.
I am sending this article to my eldest daughter. If you have a teen or young adult relative, you should send it, too.
This week has been pretty good so far. I finally did sell some of my ‘80s scrap jewelry to a gold dealer and now I have enough to take my husband on a mini-vacation for our 25th anniversary in January. It’s not just about the money. Getting rid of old jewelry—getting rid of old ANYTHING—is a cleansing experience.
In fact, today, a bunch of my old household items—including a silver chafing dish I got as a wedding gift—are going to a local charity. That is, minus the Pyrex bowl that fit in the chafing dish. I’m keeping it because Pyrex is always handy. Silver-plated crap just gets tarnished and sticky and takes up space. And the person who gave it to me two-and-half decades ago is probably
a. no longer my friend,
b. no longer my parents’ friend or
c. dead.
A huge thank you to Skin & Ink magazine for the fabulous layout of my photos and article, “The Meaning of Mizpah,” in its December issue. And an even huger thank you to them for paying me so well and so quickly.
Currently, I have another magazine looking at my article about vintage sweaters. I’ll let you know if anything comes of that.
I’m also a “potential finalist” or “potential alternate” in a poetry contest. Not sure what that means, but I’m all about potential.
Also this week, I sent off my opinion column, a real estate advertorial and a real estate agent profile. Now I’m working on a contest entry for “Why I Write,” sponsored by Editor Unleashed and Smashwords. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to successfully answer that question, but if you’re interested in entering, go to http://editorunleashed.com/2009/10/27/announcing-why-i-write-essay-contest/. Deadline is December 31.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I’m Not Paranoid!
Wait, Who Said That?
As mentioned in the previous post, I have been joining online writers’ groups to get more publicity for my ebook. This has been hard for me, as I am, generally speaking, Wendy the Lone Writer, preferring to sit here in my sweats, drinking coffee and staring at my computer screen with rapidly deteriorating eyes.
Not that you can’t do that while participating in an online writers’ group, but, to me, it’s almost the same as socializing in a public setting.
Disclaimer: I am, in fact, an incredibly social being when I want to be. I love going to cocktail parties and wearing frocks and talking smack about absurdities du jour. Add alcohol (oh, come on—just a little, I’m no Dorothy Parker), a sassy vintage hairclip, mix well in a martini shaker, and I’m just damn delightful.
But, here’s the thing about writers’ groups: I join, I introduce myself, I write comments, and, often, I’m ignored.
WHAT UP WIT DAT?
One of the groups—which I was INVITED to join—asked me to tell them something about myself, so I did. A few people posted answers and were mostly nice and a little sarcastic—which is fine, but the gist of their sarcasm was: “You’re a professional—what are YOU doing here?”
Um, thanks?
It reminds me of the time someone said to me, “Do you think John Grisham belongs to a writers’ group?”
Not that I’m anywhere near a Grisham, but, geez, if people keep making me feel unwelcome just because I’ve sold a few articles, then what the heck am I doing there?
Now, yet another update to my previous post: Yesterday, the additional credit card arrived for my daughter, WITH HER FIRST NAME MISSPELLED. Her name is common, but has an unusual spelling, WHICH IS WHY I SPELLED IT FOR THE CUSTOMER SERVICE AGENT.
This happened three years ago when I got a card for my older daughter, who also has a common name, which is NOT spelled in an unusual fashion, but that customer service person decided it would be cuter with an extra “a.”
Which means once again, today, I have to phone India. Wish me luck.
Wait, Who Said That?
As mentioned in the previous post, I have been joining online writers’ groups to get more publicity for my ebook. This has been hard for me, as I am, generally speaking, Wendy the Lone Writer, preferring to sit here in my sweats, drinking coffee and staring at my computer screen with rapidly deteriorating eyes.
Not that you can’t do that while participating in an online writers’ group, but, to me, it’s almost the same as socializing in a public setting.
Disclaimer: I am, in fact, an incredibly social being when I want to be. I love going to cocktail parties and wearing frocks and talking smack about absurdities du jour. Add alcohol (oh, come on—just a little, I’m no Dorothy Parker), a sassy vintage hairclip, mix well in a martini shaker, and I’m just damn delightful.
But, here’s the thing about writers’ groups: I join, I introduce myself, I write comments, and, often, I’m ignored.
WHAT UP WIT DAT?
One of the groups—which I was INVITED to join—asked me to tell them something about myself, so I did. A few people posted answers and were mostly nice and a little sarcastic—which is fine, but the gist of their sarcasm was: “You’re a professional—what are YOU doing here?”
Um, thanks?
It reminds me of the time someone said to me, “Do you think John Grisham belongs to a writers’ group?”
Not that I’m anywhere near a Grisham, but, geez, if people keep making me feel unwelcome just because I’ve sold a few articles, then what the heck am I doing there?
Now, yet another update to my previous post: Yesterday, the additional credit card arrived for my daughter, WITH HER FIRST NAME MISSPELLED. Her name is common, but has an unusual spelling, WHICH IS WHY I SPELLED IT FOR THE CUSTOMER SERVICE AGENT.
This happened three years ago when I got a card for my older daughter, who also has a common name, which is NOT spelled in an unusual fashion, but that customer service person decided it would be cuter with an extra “a.”
Which means once again, today, I have to phone India. Wish me luck.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Linky Monday
I don’t do Mute Monday. I don’t do Mute Anything. I can’t. If I’m mute, then that generally means I’m highly pissed off about something and it’s better to more or less get the hell out of my way.
I’m going to do Linky Monday, which isn’t alliterative, but I don’t care. Below is a list of links for you to check out while you’re pretending to work.
But, first, the Halloween wrap-up. It was pretty boring. No adult parties to attend and zero trick-or-treaters, but my 17-year-old went out with friends, dressed as a very authentic Velma from Scooby-Doo. She already looks like Velma, but the orange turtleneck, red skirt and knee socks really made the outfit. Cuteness.
My other daughter, the 21-year-old, went to a costume party at a bar, dressed as a gunshot victim. Lovely.
In writing news, someone who shall not be named, but should know better as this person is in a work-related position of responsibility, dissed me and I found out about it. I am taking the professional road and not mentioning it to this person, but am filing it away for future reference.
Yes, I know I’m too sensitive about practically everything, but I took a poll among my loved ones and determined I have every right to be irked by this particular brand of douchiness. I will, however, get my comeuppance at another juncture.
Marie Antoinette cake from a long-ago Halloween party.
Anyway, on to the links.
I updated the artwork on the items in my Cafepress writer merchandise store, in case you have any writer friends you are wishing to gift this holiday season. Click here or go to http://www.cafepress.com/realwriter.
SNAFU Designs is a company I’ve worked with for many years. Owner/artist Scott Austin does really fun stuff, including a line of Christmas cards. I sold him his newest idea, which you can see by going here.
I just got copies of Skin & Ink’s December issue. My article "The Meaning of Mizpah" is on page 17. You can also see my mizpah tat and the Victorian locket that inspired it. Check it out when it hits the newsstands.
If you're interested in invasive weeds and bugs (and I'm certain you are), you can read the latest issue of The Leaf-let. My skin was crawly the entire time I was writing about the bugs, particularly the Compsilura concinnata.
My bud, the gorgeous and brilliant artist Chillpaw, has an Etsy shop, in which she is selling her fabulous Canine Car Guardians, which, just for the holidays, come with a removable wreath collar.
I don’t do Mute Monday. I don’t do Mute Anything. I can’t. If I’m mute, then that generally means I’m highly pissed off about something and it’s better to more or less get the hell out of my way.
I’m going to do Linky Monday, which isn’t alliterative, but I don’t care. Below is a list of links for you to check out while you’re pretending to work.
But, first, the Halloween wrap-up. It was pretty boring. No adult parties to attend and zero trick-or-treaters, but my 17-year-old went out with friends, dressed as a very authentic Velma from Scooby-Doo. She already looks like Velma, but the orange turtleneck, red skirt and knee socks really made the outfit. Cuteness.
My other daughter, the 21-year-old, went to a costume party at a bar, dressed as a gunshot victim. Lovely.
In writing news, someone who shall not be named, but should know better as this person is in a work-related position of responsibility, dissed me and I found out about it. I am taking the professional road and not mentioning it to this person, but am filing it away for future reference.
Yes, I know I’m too sensitive about practically everything, but I took a poll among my loved ones and determined I have every right to be irked by this particular brand of douchiness. I will, however, get my comeuppance at another juncture.
Marie Antoinette cake from a long-ago Halloween party.
Anyway, on to the links.
I updated the artwork on the items in my Cafepress writer merchandise store, in case you have any writer friends you are wishing to gift this holiday season. Click here or go to http://www.cafepress.com/realwriter.
SNAFU Designs is a company I’ve worked with for many years. Owner/artist Scott Austin does really fun stuff, including a line of Christmas cards. I sold him his newest idea, which you can see by going here.
I just got copies of Skin & Ink’s December issue. My article "The Meaning of Mizpah" is on page 17. You can also see my mizpah tat and the Victorian locket that inspired it. Check it out when it hits the newsstands.
If you're interested in invasive weeds and bugs (and I'm certain you are), you can read the latest issue of The Leaf-let. My skin was crawly the entire time I was writing about the bugs, particularly the Compsilura concinnata.
My bud, the gorgeous and brilliant artist Chillpaw, has an Etsy shop, in which she is selling her fabulous Canine Car Guardians, which, just for the holidays, come with a removable wreath collar.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Yo of Little Hope
I can’t give you the details of what I'm working on right now because it’s a confidential TV project, but I simply had to tell you about the type of people who respond to work advertisements these days.
When I answer ads I’ve found on Craigslist--for instance, voice over gigs--I always say who I am and where they can hear samples of my work. I ask if they want a custom Mp3, thank them for the opportunity, and give them my complete contact info, USING PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING. I recheck my email at least five times before I hit “send.”
Part of this new project required that I place an ad on Craigslist. What I got in return was so unbelievable that I had to print it here. I had to mask some of what she wrote in her email (where I wrote "delete" and her city of residence in parentheses) because I can’t give away the type of project. Note: This is legitimate work and does not have anything to do with porn, no matter how it reads.
This, other than the aforementioned replacements (and her name and phone number), is exactly how it came to me.
hi i came across ur add and would love too find out more info
im deff an outgoing personality with some whit and love to laugh im a (delete) and love to (delete) anything u give me..
im 27 live in (city) CA.
Holy mother of pearl, what the hell is so wrong with our young people (and she’s not even THAT young) that they apply for a job using TEXT MESSAGE LINGO?
Or should I say WTF?
I AM NOT LOL.
I can’t give you the details of what I'm working on right now because it’s a confidential TV project, but I simply had to tell you about the type of people who respond to work advertisements these days.
When I answer ads I’ve found on Craigslist--for instance, voice over gigs--I always say who I am and where they can hear samples of my work. I ask if they want a custom Mp3, thank them for the opportunity, and give them my complete contact info, USING PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING. I recheck my email at least five times before I hit “send.”
Part of this new project required that I place an ad on Craigslist. What I got in return was so unbelievable that I had to print it here. I had to mask some of what she wrote in her email (where I wrote "delete" and her city of residence in parentheses) because I can’t give away the type of project. Note: This is legitimate work and does not have anything to do with porn, no matter how it reads.
This, other than the aforementioned replacements (and her name and phone number), is exactly how it came to me.
hi i came across ur add and would love too find out more info
im deff an outgoing personality with some whit and love to laugh im a (delete) and love to (delete) anything u give me..
im 27 live in (city) CA.
Holy mother of pearl, what the hell is so wrong with our young people (and she’s not even THAT young) that they apply for a job using TEXT MESSAGE LINGO?
Or should I say WTF?
I AM NOT LOL.
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